The Joy of Being Yourself

The past few months have been incredibly fun for me.   I’ve really been enjoying my life, feeling grateful and happy for each and every day.

Okay.. not exactly earth-shattering news, but given how I was feeling just a few short years ago, I am particularly appreciative of having so much joy each and every day.  I thought I would share this rather personal revelation for two reasons: 1) perhaps it may inspire someone else out there who may relate to where I was, and give them the courage to change their circumstances, and 2) the more I get out there and work, network and connect with people, our biggest obstacle to real wellness and happiness is our ability to live the most authentic version of ourselves.

When we finally stop pretending and trying so hard, our lives take on a very different quality.  Life is much easier and many of our compulsions, addictions and self-destructive behaviors fall away.  Being yourself is more than stating your opinion or having your own fashion style, true authenticity usually involves a level of vulnerability; it feels personal and a little scary.  It pushes you outside of your comfort zone and stretches you to grow in order to become the person you are meant to be.  Growth is a part of life.  It makes you feel alive.  When you’re not growing towards your full potential or perhaps are a little off track, you have a sense of staleness in your life, it may feel like something is missing, like you’re not quite in love with your life and you’re not sure why.

Nothing earth-shattering has happened to me in the last few months, other than having made a conscious effort to focus more and more of my work and effort in the areas that I am most passionate about.  The ones that reflect what I love, what I believe and what makes me happy.  In doing more of what I “want” rather than what I thought I “should” be doing, I had to become more and more of myself.

While I’ve obviously done a lot of personal work up to this point in order to go through the process of a career change, I can tell you that this type of growth is a process and sometimes requires the removal of several layers in order to reach the core.  But I can also tell you this, there’s no better, calmer, lighter and more peaceful feeling in the world than being yourself.

As a teenager, I had always been envious of people that had the courage to be really different, to stand out, and move to their own beat.  I was much too concerned with what others thought.  The fear of being judged, ridiculed, or god forbid, disliked, drove many of my decisions.   I wanted to be the best at everything, but what I didn’t understand was that “best” does not mean competing with the outside world, but rather being the best version of yourself.

What finally changed for me?  I got to a breaking point.  I had more days of sad, quiet, frustration then I did of joy, excitement and ease.   I wanted more from my life then living for the weekends.  I wanted to get through a Sunday without the dread and heaviness of looking ahead at another week.  I wanted to surround myself with things I cared about, and work, talk, read and study things that actually interested me.  I wanted to have a sense of purpose, of contribution.  And most importantly, I wanted to look forward to each day, each year and each decade.  I wanted to be excited about my life, rather than live for the vacations, mat leave and retirement that might rescue me from my reality.

It’s funny.  Why do we believe we have to live that way?  When do we stop dreaming?  At what point do we stop paying attention to what makes us happy?   It’s seems like this little “should” voice takes over and tells us that responsibility, stability, sacrifice and compromise are the noble qualities we should live by.  That choosing to pursue something simply because you like it, is indulgent and selfish.   Nothing could be further from the truth.  I believe that if people were more inclined to do what makes them happy, there would be more happiness to go around – in our work relationships, friendships, families and our interactions with strangers.

I know that what I’m saying may seem simplistic and naïve to some.  Believe me, I was once in that place.  The idea of changing and starting again seemed absolutely incomprehensible.  My only glimmer of hope was reading inspiring stories from others.  Knowing that other people not only had found themselves in the same place, but also managed to get to the other side.  This was all I needed to keep me going.

Deep within each of us is a personality and purpose uniquely our own.  The person we are meant to become is like a fingerprint.  If we want to fulfill all that we are capable of, we can only do so by living an authentic life and tapping into our unique gifts.

The first step is to listen to your internal voice.   Stop pretending, comparing, judging, competing and struggling to prove yourself.  Instead, start to explore what draws you, without judging and over-analyzing.  Give yourself permission to do this no matter how silly, small or insignificant it feels.  Developing knowledge and self-awareness takes time.  Most likely, you’ve spent a lifetime ignoring your intuition, so it may take some practice.  More importantly, you likely carry some preconceived notions of what is “acceptable” and what is “right”.

Depending on where you find yourself today, the journey to get there is not always easy.  But I can tell you this, the joy you will experience when being your true self is worth the effort!

To your happiness,

Victoria